Bad weather brings me down. This was my first thought today when I woke up at 10, looked outside the window and saw these wet streets, trees bending under the heavy wind and people walking around with umbrellas. Then I remembered it's Saturday, layed down on my bed again and fell asleep for another two hours.
The last week has been a weird mixture of a lot of studying, meeting people, walking around the city, fighting with my family and even more studying. The school's ending soon and my situation in biology, physics and history isn't that nice. It's so frustrating, 'cause I have studied so hard and it seems like it's just not enough.
But I don't feel like writing about this. I just realised how freakin' antisocial I am. There's this someone that I really like, but I just don't know what to do to get closer to her. I won't lie that I don't feel attracted to her at all, 'cause sometimes I feel like I do, alot actually, but being just friends with her would be perfectly fine for me. We talk a lot during the schoolbreaks and such, sometimes we IM each other too (or maybe it's just me IMing her, and her responding? ._.), but I still feel so distant . I wish we could just, I don't know, meet up after classes sometime. Just hang out, or something. But on the other hand, I don't know she would feel about that, especially since I came out to her not a long time ago. I'm kind of scared of destroying the situation between us, since it's not THAT bad now. I'm afraid to make moves. Maybe I should just stay in the place I am? And just keep wondering, what would happen if I did something...
I'm like that with most stuff lately. It's not just relationshiTs with people, but also little things like...changing my hair. I really want to get a haircut, I kind of have an idea for it, but I'm afraid I'll look stupid and regret it. 'Cause it's not that I don't like my hair. I do, but I also really like that haircut. Decisions, decisions...I'm such a coward when it comes to taking risks.